Um, is this a vacation?

Sorry to have been so long in posting. The past week was difficult in so many ways.

Monday night, June 14^th, midnight, Italy time, Sardinia.

Now my turn… Second night in Sardinia. It was HELL getting here, but Cierra has summarized the hell fairly well. The only thing I would add is that I had hardly slept the entire week before leaving for this trip, so you can imagine the end-of-rope-ness by the time we had the security issues trying to get to Sardinia. I only shed a few tears of exhaustion. But things got much better as soon as we cleared immigration in Alghero. Everyone was there to meet us, and we all got into cars to head to a little town on the ocean for dinner. There were probably twelve of us, and we all had a fabulous meal and tried our best to speak Italian to the waitresses. My niece, Magnolia, is really painfully cute, and was so happy to see Cierra that she made all the badness go away.

Of course, there is the family stuff. This is, after all, a wedding. I’m sorry to say that there has been some drama, some awkwardness, and some issues with who is staying in which apartment with whom. But I love my brother’s fiancé, Claudia, and her family. Her mom, Juliana, is a very warm and strong woman from Sardinia. Her stepfather, Jacquie, is French, always smiling, friendly and warm. And although he seems to understand English, he speaks mostly French and Italian. So at 1:30 a.m. when I was trying to explain the problem that we had seven people and six beds, he didn’t seem able to communicate with even when I explained it in French.

Somehow we got through the night and into beds. Today, I actually had moments of feeling like I have truly arrived on a vacation. Especially lying on the beach listening to all the languages being spoken around me. Italian, French, English, and something I couldn’t quite determine.. I had a nap in the afternoon, and was woken at about 6:00 pm to the sound and drama of a thunderstorm. We all had dinner together at one of the apartments tonight, and I had fun talking and getting to know everyone.

Tuesday, 6/15. I’m still jet lagged. It’s hard to hit the wall and feel like I still need to be functioning and pleasant. Mostly I’m tired, woke up at 6:00 a.m. again today and feeling the effects of lack of sleep and still not having Cierra’s bag. We are staying in the far northern part of Sardinia. You can see Corsica from the beach here. It’s beautiful, although, just like it has been in northern CA, they are having strange weather and more cold and rain than usual for this time of year. We went with several others into town today, and went to a regular Italian lunch at a restaurant on the ocean. We went with Benjamin, “Beni”, who is German, Katia who is Italian from Northern Italy, and Dave who is from Northern CA and met my brother Mical when he was seventeen in Northern CA. I took pictures of two of the dishes we got at the restaurant, because of the presentation of them, one grilled vegetables, the other of a fish dish. Everything we have eaten here has been delicious, but I can’t actually do the “EAT” part of Eat Pray, Love, because I am highly allergic to gluten and get hives if I eat it. I also wont fit into the dress I got for the wedding if I eat too much this week! Since the bread, pasta, pizza, and pastries here are such an important part of Italian cuisine, I can’t talk a lot about the food, but today I ate pickled thistles for the first time and liked them a lot.

After lunch we hiked along the coast a bit, even though it was raining off and on. And then later in the evening all 25 people in our group went to have dinner at a family like restaurant near here where you had a choice for your multi-course meal of “Mare”, or “Terre”, Sea or Land – meaning meat or seafood. Again, delicious food, but much bread and pasta. I had a slight melt-down. Couldn’t keep the tears from coming. Mostly because we still can’t locate Cierra’s luggage and everything is so difficult here – difficult to find phone numbers or Internet access. We found one Internet café in a town about 30 minutes away, so it has been hard to get there. We are a large group of about 25 – 30 people and we are sharing about 5-6 rented cars. I am not one of the drivers, so I have to depend on others to get anywhere. I feel so out of control, mostly about Cierra’s lost luggage. Also, the money situation is stressful because for each text I send or call I make, I have to pay. I realize how easy we have it at home. Not just with having phone and Internet access, but really with every kind of business or establishment. Here you are lucky to get anyone on the phone, anyone who is willing to go out of their way to help look for things, I went online to search for Cierra’s bag and all I found was that they say it was delivered. We have given an address of a hotel near here for them to deliver it to, but it’s still not there, and I’m afraid we are in too much of a remote place for them to find us.

Wednesday – still no backpack. We went to the hotel twice today to check, as well as my calling Dublin Airport twice to speak to the lost baggage department. They told me it was sent via Air France through Rome, and then to Cagliari, the farthest airport from where we are in Sardinia. Supposedly it arrived in Cagliary yesterday. Cierra seems much less upset about this than I am, which surprises me. She seems to be able to let go and stop worrying about it, whereas I can’t let go and trust we will get it. I’m also perturbed about other little things – how we will afford to get through the rest of the trip, how to manage in each of the places we plan to visit since I forgot our book on Italy! I can’t believe I left it at home. And managing in situations where I feel so helpless and not in control is not easy for me. We went to a gorgeous beach today, and I finally got some sun. Then we came home and cooked a good dinner for those of us who are here. I love spending so much time here with Lucas Sheila, Magnolia, my niece and Josiah my nephew. At home we don't get to spend a lot of time together even though they just live in Berkeley. But to spend the week with them in the apartment has been great.

Wednesday night – Thunder just hit while I am waiting up for Cierra. Several people from the wedding party went to the other house where many of the group are staying about 25 minutes away from here. It’s midnight and they are not back yet so I’m waiting up. It sounds like we will get another storm. I must get to sleep. Hopefully the luggage will arrive safe and sound tomorrow. I’m still worried. How will we get through the trip if she has no clothes? How can I relax and enjoy myself when I am still worried? Cierra is able to forget the fears knowing I will take care of everything. She’s happy and connected, safe in the knowledge that all will be handled. But I feel the weight of the problem – no place to stay our last night here, not quite enough money for the trip, no car to get to the airport on the last day, and trying to handle it all without help. I think sometimes foreign travel magnifies what does not work for us in our lives at home – in my case, being on my own for everything on a daily basis, and here, I have to take care of things that I am completely powerless over, and also to depend on people I don’t know.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

You wont believe this, but there is still no backpack for Cierra. I have been pretty upset, and still trying to enjoy my days while feeling frustrated and fearful that we may have lost her backpack full of all her summer things for good. Aer Lingus has told me we can spend up to 180 Euros to get Cierra some essentials. The problem is that if the bag is delivered to the hotel in Sardinia after we leave, then we may never get it back! I don’t cope well with situations like this. I’m actually feeling depressed, and then aghast that I could be depressed while on the vacation of a lifetime!! So I’m stuck – calling Aer Lingus and getting different stories every day – today they said that the backpack was in Rome all week and was supposed to be sent to Sardinia today. But it’s Saturday so unless it got here this morning and couriered to the northern tip of the island, then we definitely wont get it tomorrow because it’s Sunday and NOTHING happens here on Sundays. So if Monday it’s still not here I may have to drive all around the island going to all three airports because we leave here Tuesday morning. The drive alone will be about ten hours, and that’s if I don’t get lost. But what else can I do? I can’t seem to let go of the backpack. It’s more than just the clothes and makeup. It’s deeper for me. I’m feeling like it’s such a huge loss, and I keep going over and over in my head what was in the backpack to determine the exact loss/contents. I have to learn to let go!! I'm s impressed with Cierra's ability to let go and still trust that everything will work out. She is so mature about all of this. She even said, when we first discovered that it was missing, that it was a good thing it was her luggage that went missing instead of mine. She's right too, which doesn't make me feel very proud of myself...

Monday night, June 21st, Alghero, Sardinia

We are in a hotel tonight and paid for internet access which is how we are finally able to upload all of this. Tomorrow we fly to the mainland so it will be easier to blog daily. I'll also be uploading pictures from the past week. Must give my impressions of the wedding, the family, etc.. But since we have to leave for the airport at 5:30 am tomorrow, now it is time to sleep.

Arrivederci,

-Jessie