Taking My Daughter To Italy!?

It doesn't seem real. Nothing like this ever seemed possible. I'm actually taking my fourteen-year-old daughter to Italy for my little brother's wedding. How can this be me? I'm so used to hearing about the rich folks traveling, and being the one who can't afford it. But somehow I've made this possible, and we leave June 12th. Of course, part of me is still in doubt - the volcano ash, the trains will strike, the flights wont take off, the Gods will decide they made a mistake in letting us go, and somehow stop us. But then I also think, why not me? Why shouldn't I take my beautiful daughter to travel in Europe? Is there some law that says I am only here on this planet to work and struggle? Maybe this trip will be the change I need to open me up to possibilities and abundance.. Maybe we will experience joy and light and miracles. And maybe we'll have ourselves one hella good time!

Of course, like most parents, I am trying to fix my own childhood by doing things differently for my daughter. I'm wanting this trip to be a corrective experience to make right what was wrong in my youth. I went to Europe the first time with my Dad and older brother when I was ten-years-old. But my dad being, well, let's just say that self-centered would be putting it mildly, it was not the best trip for a ten-year old. My fondest memories of the month we were there was eating Swiss chocolate and riding trains. But I also overheard my dad one night when he thought I was asleep telling his friends he liked my brother better than he liked me. It was something I knew already on some level, but hearing him actually say it solidified the feeling that I was not acceptable or lovable. The next time I went to Europe I was seventeen and went alone. It was for five months, and I was not really prepared for what it would be like to travel alone in a foreign country. I definitely learned a lot, and had to get stronger because I was alone, but I was too self-hating and depressed to really love my experience.

But now? Finally at the age of 44 I am actually learning how to relax and enjoy my life. I imagine my daughter and I sitting on a balcony in Cinque Terre looking out over the Mediterranean Sea and sipping cold drinks talking and laughing, marveling at the fact that we are there, and savoring every minute. So in exactly 23 days we will be on our way. Pretty cool right?